I sincerely hope that I will not have to write a more difficult blog post than this one during our time in Guatemala. This afternoon was my second appointment with the doctor. Daniel and I were thrilled to see on the ultrasound that the baby had doubled in size, the sack looked great (according to the doctor) and we could see little limbs.
Then the doctor looked at me with a very serious look on his face, laid a hand on my knee and said, "I'm afraid I don't have good news." He went on to explain that he could not detect any movement or heart beat. While I am nine weeks into pregnancy, the baby's development had stopped at seven weeks. Nothing can prepare you to hear those words. Although I was hearing him, it didn't seem real. I wanted to ask him to say it again because I thought maybe I didn't hear right the first time. My doctor is a very kind and gentle man and his face conveyed great concern. He said how sorry he was and that sometimes these things just happen and there is no reason. He said my blood test results were great, everything in the formation looked great and there simply is just not a reason.
I was in shock and began to ask silly questions in desperation such as, just because there is no movement and heartbeat now, maybe there will be later? He had wonderful patience with me and said I can come by his office at 8 am tomorrow morning and he will check again. Then we will need to go on to the hospital to have a D&C (surgery to remove the baby). I trust my doctor and know that he is right that this needs to be done but it is so hard to let go.
We could definitely use your prayers right now. Your prayers have gotten us through some pretty tough times here already and I know they will carry us through this difficult time too. I have had Matt Redman's song "Blessed Be Your Name" stuck in my head since yesterday. It is based on passages of Job. One section says "you give and take away, but my heart will choose to say, blessed be Your name." I know that is going to be a difficult choice for Daniel and me in the coming days, but God's name be blessed for He holds us in His hands and knows what is best for us. I thank Him for the nine weeks that He allowed me to carry this precious little life in my body.
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13 comments:
I don't know what to say. I will pray for you both.
this is devastating, and though we have never met you, our hearts are broken with yours. we will remember you in prayer over these next months.
I will be praying too, Kara.
you are in our thoughts and prayers. we love you. adam and tiffany
I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am to hear this. I know that you and Daniel will get the strength you need to make it through this, but I also know that it won't be easy. Katie and I are both praying for you and wish we could be there to give you a hug! I know from experience that sometimes God's timing seems very peculiar, and often times it seems outright wrong - but know that is nothing but perfect. That doesn't take the hurt away, but hope and time are great healers.
I know the next few days and maybe even weeks will be very difficult. We will keep you in our prayers.
Tim & Katie
We are so very sorry. We love you! Know that we are praying for you. --Keith & Krista
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven...a time to weep...a time to mourn....a time to embrace.
Ecclesiastes 3
Daniel and Kara,
Wish we could be there to help comfort you. But please know that we are thinking of you often and are praying for healing for your hearts and body. We love you both,
Aaron and Amanda K.
In all things Praise Him. He is El Roi. He is also Jehovah-rapha the God who Heals. I pray that He will be with both of you as it does affect you together. Love you both,
Michelle and Dave
I am praying! I will try to call soon, Love you guys, Pablo
Kara and Daniel,
I am so sorry! I cannot find the words to express the sadness I feel but know that I love you and am praying for peace and healing in your heart and your body!
Cathi
Kara and Daniel -
Holly and I met you both last week when we came with the Highland Praise Team. We were so very sad to hear the news and our hearts are heavy for you at this time. We'll be lifting you in prayer to the Lord and asking for His peace and comfort in your lives. Take care and may God bless.
Terry & Holly Escue
Kara and Daniel,
I am so terribly sorry! I know your heart is aching. We lost our 10 week old grandson in Jan. Our hearts are broken with you. We will continue to pray for you, asking God to comfort and sustain you both.
ginger and bobby
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