Not Always Rose-Colored

These past few days have been a little rough emotionally for me and I am not exactly sure why. I think that it is mainly because this Thursday we will reach the sixth month mark of living in Guatemala. I thought that this would be an exciting day of celebration and that I might say something like “Hooray! Let’s celebrate this milestone with a cheeseburger at McDonalds.” However, as the day approaches, I find myself in a bit of mild depression.

If you would have asked me before we came how I thought things would be in six months, I would probably have responded that we would be fluent in Spanish and accustomed to life in Guatemala. Sure, we can get by with our Spanish now but we are nowhere near fluent. I still struggle in practically every conversation. And while I like many things about Guatemala, it is still very foreign and I much prefer home. Many of our posts on the blog and articles in our newsletter updates are about how excited we are to work with the children and how thankful we are to be here. I want to be honest that there are other days when I really don’t feel that way at all. If you asked me today if I wanted to go spend time with the children or go back home for a visit, I would definitely choose to go home.

Six months is a long time. Not to state the obvious but… half a year! I miss little things like going to friends’ houses, drinking sweet tea from Chick-Fil-A, and wearing a winter coat. I think most of all I miss my sister. It has been more than six months since I have seen her and I just want to hug her and sit and talk together for awhile.

I feel guilty for having these feelings. I know that we have been given a tremendous opportunity and I should not take it for granted. We have been so blessed and I shouldn’t lose sight of that. But for today, everything is not rose-colored.